Juvenile-in-Dependence

My full name is named after someone in the bible. I’ve been here six weeks. I’ve been in this room for fifteen minutes. I think it is time for me to come out. It is just a place where I can quiet down. Before this, I was at xxxx—another level 14…but not a lock-down. I was there for a year and a half but I kept getting hospitalized for hurting myself. I was born in xxxx, Tennessee. My parents lived in xxxx, but they wanted to have a kid in another state so they selected Tennessee. They bought a house there but it burned down. My mom lives in xxxx with a new husband. Before xxxx, I was at xxxx. My mom visited me there. My dad abused alcohol, abused drugs and abused me. He raped me when I was seven and kept doing it until I was 15. The neighbors finally heard me screaming and called the police. He never went to jail because he said I was lying. They took me to DCFS headquarters and then I was in a group homes ever since.

M.A., Age 16

My current family is foster care. My foster mom’s biological son is 7 years old. Her name is Miss xxxx; she’s 30 something. She does it for the money, lets be real. The world functions around money. I’ve been in four plus foster homes, some odd number of placements and group homes. Foster home is an individualist beast. The first time I was 3 or 4 there were a lot of kids in there. Everywhere there was just a mom, no man. But I came from a single-parent home so its no surprise. My mom, I’m not judging her. But she chose to do drugs, alcohol and prostitute. DHS took me away. And took all my brothers and sisters. I only speak to one sister. The others are all dead or locked up. I’m from xxth and xxxx. How come I’m not dead or locked up? I ask myself that all the time. I’ve experienced everything except being shot dead. I was grazed once. I’m in eleventh grade. I get judged all the time. I don't have any friends. Certain teachers think they know you but they weren’t there when I was going through everything. When I needed somebody I only had myself. I’m very lonely. I’m within myself. I made this progress by myself. I always thought I wanted to be rich and happy but my choice was always my brother asking me if I wanted to be a Blood. “What’s up with the B life? When are you going to get down?” In reality if I wanted to make that decision I would have done it right then. I was selling when I was 7. I would be making two or four stacks a day. I still have nothing to show for it. You gotta make it for yourself. I’m going to be great at it whatever it is. I may want to be a millionaire, but who is going to give it to you? You have to have a mindset of focus, plan, and utilize. Now, I’ve got Ms. xxxx (shelter director). It’s gotta be something different than smoking and jamming. She told me I have to start trying different stuff, that I cant be afraid to fail, that I can learn consequences and rewards. I’m doing this for myself. My mom is not doing something for me. A DHS worker brought me here after it was court ordered by a judge. When I first got here I didn't eat or talk for a week. I was in a foster home that didn't work out. There was no understanding of what was up. Both the foster parent and the child have to have respect back and forth. My foster mom used to do things that my real mom used to do. I hate my real mom. I really. Don't. Like. Her. I would have to endure things. Emotionally. Mentally. Physically. Food was on the table sometimes. Was there a safe place to sleep? Sometimes, maybe 30 percent. I got all 52 cards in my deck, but I know the way I treat people is affected by certain things in my childhood. Sexual abuse? Yea my brother did some stuff. It happened. My stepdad and my mom were fighting too. He was making her bleed. He threatened to kill her. There was a lot of aggression in the house. And they both hit me but here with Ms. xxxx it’s different. I love her to death. Something is wrong and she’ll say I don't feel you on that. I don't dig how you handle the situation. Try this so you can get this result. She gives you respect. She doesn't say if not I’ll whip your ass. I don't talk to my foster mom. I’m capable, I just don't like to. I’m smart, I just spoke to a few young people; I give them advice on certain situations. Maybe I’m not emotional. My oldest brother got killed, I didn't cry. I just said to myself, this is his day it’s not my day. That's what you learn when you’re from the hood. I’m starting to let people try to get close to me but it’s kind of hard. I’m doing okay. Not too great but not too bad. I’m in tenth grade and I’m on honor roll. I’m real popular, people flock to me. I do my own cooking; I love cooking breakfast, baking and stuff. In six or seven months I can sign out of the system. I can stay with my foster mom past 18 if I want to. But I think I’m gonna take independent living classes. I don't know what they’ll teach me. I could take care of myself when I was 7 years old. What seven-year-old do you know like that?

E.O., Age 17

24-hour facility. Referred by Emergency Response Command Post (ERCP) and 19 regional offices. We have help from childcare workers who are from a private agency MAOF, Mexican American Opportunities Foundation.

I’m from Lynwood. I’m in 9th grade. I came in at 11 p.m. last night. A social worker came to my house and took me. My stepdad and mom live there, but they weren’t there. They left me alone. They were out looking for places to live. I haven’t been in a foster home. I haven’t been in a group home. They said my mom and stepdad physically abused me. They examined me across the street at the hospital, but they didn’t find any marks. I think they are going to put me in a foster home for a few days and then to my grandma’s. It’s boring here. The tag on my wrist is for a medical alert that I use an inhaler. I have asthma. Can you send me a picture? I don’t know what my address will be.

S.V., Age 13

Level 14 locked. CTF (Community Treatment Facility) and PHF (Psychiatric Health Facility) 56 kids between both facilities.

I came from xxxx. I was in foster care. I was there for 18 months and then I left the family. There was a lot of drug abuse and physical abuse there. I have two sisters and two brothers. One is a twin. He’s in juvie in xxxx. All the kids are in different foster homes. My sister was in foster care then she was adopted at 10 and moved to Ohio. I’m in touch with my mother and father. They are sober now. They are trying to get me back. I tried to live with them three or four times. I have been bisexual since I was seven or eight. My dad doesn’t like it but he’s dealing with it. My mom is fine with it one minute and another minute she is saying, “Why are you doing this?” I would AWOL a lot from my foster home and go to my real home. My mom and dad would call and say I violated a court order. My mom doesn’t like the friends I have. Some are gay some are straight. Me being open with them didn’t work. It scares them. My mom was never stable and I would get into fights with her. I leave next month and go to xxxx. That’s a level 12. I will sustain a program and complete it. My sexuality with the other kids is confused. Some of them are fine with it, others are overwhelmed by it and don’t like it. There are a few kids and some staff I trust here (he mentions five staff---all women). I don’t trust case people with deep feelings. If you tell them stuff it could scare them and they have a mandate to report it. I would like to go to college and study cosmetology or designing something…something creative. I am by nature a funny and helpful person. What makes me upset is when someone uses the word “Faggot.”

B.C., Age 15

Been here for a week. I’m in the observation room. I go to class in the AM and then comes back to my room; I don’t read, don’t watch TV. I sit in the cell. I eat in the cell. I was supposed to come home today, but my Aunt didn’t come. I can’t live with his mother. I can’t live with my father. I’ve been here three times before. This is the longest. My aunt doesn’t visit….she is never sure when the visiting days are. I didn’t tell my aunt that I am here (she has to be notified) He is low functional. He has a very slow mannered speech. CPS is involved as well.

He has been charged with battery against his aunt. He is held in dual custody. CPS and detention.

G.R., Age 14

Level 14 locked. CTF (Community Treatment Facility) and PHF (Psychiatric Health Facility) 56 kids between both facilities.

I’ve been here a month. I have a brother whose name is U or something like that. I’m not sure. My daddy wasn’t around. I saw him once when I was 11. I don’t know what part of xxxx I’m from. When I was born my godmother took me until I was four. When I was four, my mother took me back from five to nine. Then I was taken away into the system. My mom abused me. A teacher saw the bruises all over me and reported her. I went to a nice foster home. My foster mom abused me. Then I went to my godmother until I was 11. I was acting up so they sent me to a foster home when I was 12. Then back to a group home for two months. It wasn’t successful. I messed up the house and wrote on the walls. All the girls in one home went to another home with all boys to play soccer and I went AWOL. I just sat down in the middle of the street so they took me here. I’m voluntarily here. I had a dependency court date last month.

M.E., Age 13.

One of two facilities in the state where a child can be jacketed and harnessed to a retaining couch.

24-hour facility. Referred by Emergency Response Command Post (ERCP) and 19 regional offices. We have help from childcare workers who are from a private agency MAOF, Mexican American Opportunities Foundation.

I live with my mom, just my mom. DCFS took me out of my house for smoking marijuana with my mom. They said it was an unsafe environment. I was in a foster home for a few hours, but I didn’t like it and I wanted to go home so I left. Police picked me up on the side of the freeway and brought me here. I came in this morning. First thing they did was take me across the street to the hospital. My mom wasn’t doing anything wrong. I haven’t been in trouble before.

S.R., Age 17

Level 14 locked. CTF (Community Treatment Facility) and PHF (Psychiatric Health Facility) 56 kids between both facilities.

I was born in xxxx. I have a mom, no dad. I was three when I was given to my dad and his girlfriend. She adopted me at four. She was beating me and I would run away a lot. At seven, I was sent to a shelter in xxxx, xxxx. Then another group home in xxxx, xxxx—Child Help. I was there two years. Then to a group home until I was ten. I stayed there for a month. It didn’t work out. I was their first foster kid and they didn’t know what to do with me and they wouldn’t let me do kid things. I couldn’t watch TV, go outside or eat food I liked. NOTHING. They weren’t experienced enough. I went back to Child Help for a year. Around eleven I went to xxxx County xxxx Extended Care. I was running away so much. I was roaming the streets, living in parked cars or under cars. This was all when I was age 11. After xxxx, they sent me to xxxx in xxxx. I kept on stealing and breaking things. I was ANGRY. Then they sent me to juvie for a while. But they couldn’t keep me in xxxx because I belonged to xxxx. I am a ward of the state. At 12/13 I was sent back to xxxx. It’s bigger than xxxx. Then they sent me to Colorado because they thought if they sent me far enough away I wouldn’t run. When I ran I would go to my biological mom. I found her and my grandmother. They would call the cops and send me back to my stepmom. They didn’t want me. I have mental issues. Colorado was a lock down facility. They sent me to state mental hospital for multiple suicide attempts. My father was sexually abusive. The group home there had people that were people sexually abusive. When I ran away I was really sexually abused. I ran with one of the girls from the group home. She took me to a really bad place. I was thirteen and people did horrible things to me. I tried to run away and had to jump off a balcony. I was hospitalized at least 10 times. Then they brought me here. When something goes wrong and men try to restrain me it makes me violent and I try and assault them. I can’t stand men holding me down against my will. When I was here I tried to hang myself on the doorknob. I also ran away—I jumped over the fence. I’m a very open person. Everything I ever had has been taken from me and I had nothing to start with so I have nothing to loose by being open. It’s easy for me to smile and laugh but I’m angry on the inside.

N.R., Age 14.

I’ve been here three years. I was on CTF but I came back here Monday. I grew up in xxxx. My sisters visit. I think I have a lot but I only know two. One is 23 the other 27. My mom doesn’t visit—she’s on crack and heroin. My dad is a sex offender and there is an order that he can’t see me. It was between about six and twelve when he abused me. I told a social worker and they took me to a foster home when I was seven. My stepmom was married to my dad. She had a daughter who is my half-sister. I lived with her from when I was seven to ten—then they got rid of me. I started using drugs when I was ten. I got them from friends. I didn’t go to school. I never went to school. (Director says they can’t be forced to attend if they don’t want to go). I ended up in another foster home for two weeks and there I drank bleach. They sent me to Kendrick Mental Health Hospital. I was there for two weeks. I was always trying to kill myself in there. Then I went to a group home with six kids, xxxx. I was there two weeks. AWOL. I was doing weed, mollies, triple C (Cold Cough and Congestion pills)—they get you high. When you AWOL you have to learn to read so you learn to read signs just to get around. I’ve been in two foster homes and four group homes. They I came here when I was 14. The food here is pretty nasty. I started cutting when I was six—when I was taken from my family. Most of my family doesn’t like me. I don’t have enough HS credits to even think of graduating. When I move to CTF metal is more available to cut. It’s not easy to find here.

E.L., Age 16

I’m a Dual custody kid, 241.1. I came into the system when I was 15. I’m from xxxx. My Mom was on drugs. Meth. She gets SSI and Welfare. My Dad’s in Wyoming. I don’t hear from him a lot. I’m in the 11th grade. At age 15 I was put into xxxx. A social worker popped up at my house one day. It was as simple as that. There she was. I had run away and they found out I was trying to kill myself. The cops picked me up and put me in handcuffs. I was kicked out of a few foster homes mostly for being disrespectful and defiant. But I gave back what I got. I’ve have been here nine months. My sister is 24. She lives in xxxx. She was in foster homes for a while as well. After foster care they put me in xxxx. I was there five months and then AWOLed. Then I was locked up in xxx detention in the SHU, then yyy detention for five months in the SHU and Boys’ Care, then Camp xxxx for five months. Now I’m stepped up to here. It’s better here. Right now they house me with the boys in Earth pod, but they are trying to move me with the girls. I spend all my time with the girls during the day. I usually get along with the boys but they can have issues, usually of hypermasculinity. It’s easier with the girls, they accept me. My Mom is sober now. She came to the hospital when I tried to kill myself. I wasn’t happy—personal stuff. At xxxx there were seven other transgender kids. I’m the youngest at home and my mom is supportive of me now. My grandparents are dead. My mom’s the only one. I have six sisters and one brother from my mom. They are scattered in xxxx, xxxx, Oregon, and places I don’t know. I don’t really hear from them. On my dad’s side there are two brothers and one sister. They are older; both brothers are real pothead party-ers. The sister is in the Navy. I don’t hear from them. I think I am dual because I ran away and some other stuff. Little stuff. I never touched anyone or hurt anyone. I would live on the streets for a day or two, then stay at a homegirl’s. I trust nobody. I have very few friends. They have to earn my friendship and trust. Most of my friends are gay. There is a pretty big transgender population in the valley. Was I abused? I don’t even want to say what.

L.T., age 16

Level 14 locked. CTF (Community Treatment Facility) and PHF (Psychiatric Health Facility) 56 kids between both facilities.

I’m from North Hollywood. I’ve been here eight months. I was in xxxx SNF (Skilled Nursing Facility). My mom visits but dad is not in the picture. I was in twelve different placements. Lots of level 12s. This is my first level 14. I was at 5 Acres, Aviva, Heritage. Before this I was in a foster home and then in a mental hospital. I would just get up and leave. I didn’t go anywhere. I just do my own thing. I would go to my grandpa’s house. I know my mom won’t take me home anymore. She wants me the right way, which is her way. She wants me to stay in placement and complete the programs. She is in a program for her meth abuse. They took me from my home when I was 10. A social worker from CPS took me to a foster home and separated me from my home, my brothers and sisters. I just found out I have two half brothers and a half sister from another family. I don’t do drugs. I see what it did to my mom and I know how it affects people. I don’t want to be part of that system. I tend to do well in school, if other people let me focus and there is not too much drama. I have anger issues. I get in fights with my mom. Usually it doesn’t get far enough so the police are called, but it happens. She wants them to come and ‘talk to me’ rather than have them take me away. My counselor here is good. I see her 2X week for half an hour. They also give me Abilify, Concerta, Prozac and Melatonin. I tried family therapy, but it all revolves around my father. My mother doesn’t like him. He used to come and see me a lot, but hasn’t for the last three months. I used to go AWOL and go to my grandpa’s house. My grandma has mental illness and she really doesn’t talk to me. I am trying to get out of here before I turn 17. They have to restrain me a lot because I attack people. When they restrain me they hold both your arms and put you on the ground. It happens less than it used to happen. It happened every other day when I was in PHF. I use my coping skills like reading, writing, art, and music. I get angry around phone issues, a lot. They only give us 10 minutes. I like talking to my friend who is in a foster home. I met her at xxxx. How is ten minutes enough time to talk to a girlfriend?

K.H., Age 14

I was four months when I first came in the system. My mom didn’t have a house, she lost it. I’m here with my sister, but my sister’s now with a foster family. If it works out, she gets to stay. But she told me its not gonna work out and she’ll be back to see me. My dad lives on a farm in Ada. I was with him there for a while but my dad’s cousin lived there and I didn’t want to be with his cousin. My mom cleans bathrooms at the Body Works store. I’m in 5th grade.

D.D., Age 11

24-hour facility. Referred by Emergency Response Command Post (ERCP) and 19 regional offices. We have help from childcare workers who are from a private agency MAOF, Mexican American Opportunities Foundation.

5 month old baby.

The baby pictured has been in our care 20 hours. She is five months old. She just had some food and is going down for a nap. She doesn’t want to nap.

Level 14 locked. CTF (Community Treatment Facility) and PHF (Psychiatric Health Facility) 56 kids between both facilities.

I am from Kurdistan. I came here when I was nine. It was exciting when I came here. I loved going to the beach and on hikes with my family. Since I have been in facilities, the fun part is not in my vocabulary. My dad was in the military when we lived in Iraq. He was in Baghdad. Now he is a taxi driver. I have three brothers and a sister. They are practicing Muslims. I have questions. I don’t wear a Hajab. My mother does. I did wear one when I went to school in Iraq. They don’t visit me much because xxxx is far away. They have visited a couple of times. I speak to them on the phone about 10-15 minutes a day. I was in the hospital a few months. In and out. I’ve never been in foster care. I was in PHF for two months. That’s an in and out thing. I moved back here to CTF a couple of weeks ago. (The nurse comes in and asks if she ate her lunch.) I’m not a food person. I have lost weight since I have been here. I don’t follow Halal, I just don’t like the look. I just don’t care about it. I usually don’t pray like my brothers and I know a few words from Kurdistan. “Allah Akbar—God is great.”

R.B., Age 15

I’m going to the hospital again. They have medical staff here but I like the hospital. My mother was adopted. I use drugs, meth. My mom’s in jail. Don’t know my dad. My mom was arrested so I went to my mom’s friends house. When DHS started looking for me they went to the friend’s house. They had warrants on them…and they found drugs in the house. Later in the day gunshots were fired at the house. There was a guy in the front yard shooting. He came back into the house and then they found me in there and took me to the shelter. I was supposed to be doing online school. This is my first time here.

E.E., Age 14

I’ve been here 15 days. I was at school, and then I checked out early. When I went home the police was at my house and they took me and my sister. She’s 13. We were at my aunt’s house for a while. I don’t like it here. I want to go home.

U.E., Age 6

Director Rebecca: He’s relatively new. Here with his sister age 13. The sister’s a bit wild and was sexting inappropriate images of herself. When her mother saw the pictures, she beat her up and lost control. DHS was called, the sister was in the system before, but this time they took both kids away from the mother.

I don’t know why I’m here. I didn't like foster care. I’m in first grade.

M.N., Age 7

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I’ve been here 15 days. I was at school, and then I checked out early. When I went home the police was at my house and they took me and my sister. She’s 13. We were at my aunt’s house for a while. I don’t like it here. I want to go home.

E.U., Age 6

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I’ve been here four days. The cops came to my house and my mom sent me to my room. Then the police took me and my sister in one car; brother and cousin in a different car to the shelter. I have two sisters. One is in emergency foster care, she’s 15 year old. The 11 year old came in on Saturday. They came in because the house was declared dirty.

J.J., Age 12

A residential and day school for kids in foster care and CSE kids. Kids with emotional and behavioral issues. 118 kids in residence. About 92% capacity. 80 are foster kids. Some of the kids come in as a result of being designated PINs (Person In Need). About 42% of the kids are on psychotropics. They have Dr. XXXX on staff, whom is very respected and tries to give them the minimum dosage possible. They don’t medicate to manage behavior, as some institutions do. They are very overrepresented with children of color.

They work 24/7 and have a 200 person staff. 45 kids here are direct placement. They define Special-Ed as kids with an IEP (Individualized Educational Program). These are kids that come from CSE (Committee for Special Education). They are usually behavioral issues rather than too far on the autism scale.

85 kids of the 118 now as “Bengals”. These go through a program to help them build on their successes and become leaders.

There are three centers containing “Camp” Rooms in xxx. The City Mayor gave money to support more exercise and sports programing such as double-dutch and basketball tournaments until 12:30 on weekends. If the kids wouldn’t be here, they would be in apartments, playing video games or in the streets. There are classes for audio engineering being privately assisted. The staff allow the video room used for games, but hope to have computer instruction. The facilities were repainted to be more receptive and bright. The spaces are for kids to learn how to socialize and interact comfortably.

The dog therapy program is shared with XXXX and XXXX. The class normally is 6 kids; there are 3 today. J.E. has been here a year.

I’m almost 14. I’ve been here mostly a year. I was living at home with my grandma. I had trouble with my mother and father. My grandma couldn’t get full custody. I was always looking for a fight. I was getting in fist fights with my father. My mother when to ACS to ask for help. We couldn’t get family counseling because my parents didn’t want to go. I have three brothers, eight-year-old twins and an 18-year-old. My dad works for sanitation. My mother is a teaching assistant. I’m trying to see if I can get myself discharged to my grandma. I’d like her to get full custody. Someone on the staff gave me this t-shirt. The rec staff taught me how to mix and to DJ. They showed me everything they know. I’m in 9th grade, special ed. There’s no real drugs and alcohol at home, just fighting. There’s a music program but not a lot of instruments. Rap. That’s about it. Food’s good. I get home visits to grandma and occasionally my parents.

E., Age 14

Young boy with Mr. XXX, a special security staff member.

C.G., Age 11

I max out of here when I am 21. I lived with my mom and two brothers and two sisters. We have a three-bedroom apartment in the Bronx. Sometimes there is no food in the house. There are lots of roaches though. There is no stability, no structure there. No dad in the house. I started off in school. I ran amok in school. I wouldn’t pay attention and I bullied kids. They moved me from a regular school. I didn’t realize they had me in a special-ed school until I was in 7 or 8th grade. When I was young, my sister was 15 and she started touching me in bad ways. She would hit me as well. I told my mom and she put my stuff in a trash bag and put me out. My dad came for me. He lived in the Bronx between Fulton and Franklin. I would sleep in his living room. He was in his mother’s house and renting a room from her. My father and me would argue. His girlfriend would sell pills, M30s and Bananas. Twice I stayed with my grandpa in Co-op city. He was very strict. When I was in fifth grade I was in a shelter with my dad. We had moved. He was in a car accident and got some money and moved into our own apartment. But he paid $1,500 for rent and didn’t have a job so the money lasted only so long. We were receiving my SSI check of $600/month. It was his girlfriend and her daughter. We were getting food stamps also. But you can do the math, his girlfriend was selling pills and the money lasted only so long. We didn’t have rent money so we went to the shelter on XXXX Avenue. It was a regular building but it had Tier two families and they were XXXX. Then I went to XXXX, a transition to get out of homeless shelters. Then I reconnected with my mom. I tried to have warm feelings for her. I was frustrated and ended up slapping flames at my stepmother. She called the cops. I locked the door. She said I had a knife and attacked her. So they had about eight cops and called like a SWAT team. I was in eighth grade, like 12 or 13 years old. I never had a knife. She lied. They put me in a hospital at XXXX in XXXX. Mom got custody of me but she was in a shelter. We moved into a shelter in XXXX street and XXXX. I was in high school and lived in a shelter. I was taking the Cheese Bus (yellow bus). I would get into fights in high school. They said I had special behavioral issues. Fights and throwing fists and head butting. I stayed on the block and then started traveling. Mom would spend her money on Coors Light and scratch tickets. My brother was a Blood but not me. I’ve been here three years now. I came in August 2012. I was taken here when I asked for money to wash my clothes and my mom wouldn’t give me any . . . she spent it on drinking her liquor. I took all her clothes and threw them out the window. She called the cops and the ambulance. She caught ACDS on herself. Maybe she kept me because she wanted a taste of the SSI check they would give me. They took me from the hospital to the ACS center in XXXX with a whole bunch of different kids. When I came to XXXX I was mad at the world. I ended up getting on my feet and getting a job on campus. One of the cottage workers is a MILF and “wanted me”. I didn’t want to go through with that. I started to destroy that relationship and I broke a flat screen TV. I went OP (out of program), I stayed on campus though. I got in a fight with another kid.

F.N., Age 18.

A non-profit family service.

XXXX Boys Cooperative. Down a dirt road about ½ hour from downtown.

It gives kids a real life living situation. Each kid has his own room, but they are very small. The bed is often in a section that is about the length of the bed. There are seven boys from 12- 17 or 18. Mr. XXXX is the director.

I’ve been here over a year. I was in custody with my sister who is 21. My Mom is deceased. I don’t know how. I was in Mississippi. She didn’t have no resources to take care of me. It wasn’t the right time or money for her to take care of me. I have a brother in xxxx with a foster mom. I also have a younger brother and sister who live with my older sister. I’m in 8th grade…middle school. I go to school up toward Atlanta, only about five minutes up the road.

Who’s on my speed dial? No one. Who do I trust? No one. Not even myself. The food is good here. When I went to court I went on my own. I was in foster care when I was 14 and then I went back to my mom. Things were sort of normal and then they said I had educational neglect. I wasn’t going to school and no one cared if I did or not, so they took me from my mom. DFCS came to my house the first time; there were no drugs or anything, just neglect. I don’t get to see my sister. I was supposed to see her at Thanksgiving. She has the younger sister and brother but she can’t care for me too. I guess I can be anywhere as long as I got a roof and some food. I don’t need someone to love me, I can love myself.

E.B., Age 15

I was in Memphis until I was 14. I lived with my auntie and my cousins and his sister. Then I moved in with my sister. My Mom is in a health facility. I don’t know what for but she has been there for a long time. I went with my aunt when I was five. I never knew my dad. I was 14 when we went to Atlanta. My Auntie drove me to Atlanta and I thought she was going to work or something. All of a sudden I was living with my sister who was 31. I didn’t like her. Her husband owns a restaurant. I went to my other sister’s who is 29 and the older one called the police and said I was unruly and AWOL. I went to xxxx detention center for nine days. Then I went to court. I didn’t want to go home so they put me here….I’ve been here eight or nine months. First I was in a group home in xxxx called “2nd Chance.” I told my caseworker I didn’t want to be there because you couldn’t be outside, so I went to xxxx for four months, Again they wouldn’t let me outside, then xxxx County Group Home. There one of the rooms that housed the office caught fire and burned. They had to move all the kids to other situations, so I ended up here. It is a better environment and I get to spend time outside. I was supposed to be in 10th grade but I failed one grade so I am in 9th. Who’s in my speed dial? My big sister (the 29 year old), my brother, and my girlfriend. She got in trouble for sending sexts. The bus comes at 7:50 and we are in school at 8:00 return we get picked up at 4 PM and are here at 4:30. My sister has a ten year old and she takes care of my sister and brother who are six and two… I wish she could take care of me. I really want to work….Maybe at Kroegers or Walmart.

K.I., Age 16

I’m here until 21. August is my “graduation.” I was five when I came to the US. I was kidnapped at five by my mom’s best friend. I was going to school when she came to take me away with her husband and they took me to the U.S. Everything was OK until I was older and she started beating me. Her husband was nice but she would get mad. My little boy is four. I want to get my GED. I am going to Georgia Tech. I want to study cosmetology. I don’t know where my parents are. I never had contact with my parents after I was taken from them. The people that kidnapped me fled and were never apprehended. They made me dance at a Latino strip club since I was 13. They never asked or looked for my papers. They told them that I was 18. I had a fake ID. I had to dance for money and do other things. When they fled, I went into foster care. I didn’t know anybody. I was 16 when I went into the foster care system.

N.T., Age 20

I was with DFCS since I was 15. My Dad is in jail. Both my parents are deceased. I was living at home with my aunt. I was two and I went to live with my aunt. It was me and my cousins. I have eight brothers and then we were living with my Grandma in xxxx. DFCS was mailing my SSI check to my grandma. One day I got out of school early and I saw my check that my grandma was cashing. I just wanted a part of it. We got over that argument. We regularly used to fuss and fight. I thought she was playing favorites toward my brother, but as I grew up I realized she was doing what was right for me. I wasn’t angry—I was hurt more than anything. I was hurting for both of us. I was hardheaded and young. I did a lot of damage to myself. I hung out with the wrong people. I just wanted to be grown up when I was 14 or 13. I really thought I would be everything. I have the director on my speed dial. I have trust issues. I only trust myself. I am going to Job Corps, studying culinary arts. I have boyfriends, but no sleepovers. I go home every weekend and every holiday. I resolved a lot with my Aunt and Grandma.

S.A., Age 18

I’ve been here two weeks. I was adopted at four or five. It wasn’t so fun. They were old when they adopted me and my little sister. She’s 14 and living with a friend now. They have an investigation going on so she can’t go back to the house and I can’t either. Both my mom and dad were on drugs. We have no contact. I know who my father is, but I don’t have the best relationship. There was a lot of emotional abuse and sexual abuse when I was little. My adopted grandparents sort of put me in here. My adopted grandfather made sexual advances to me. They are not really my grandma and grandpa. They are friends of my family, but they are older so I call them grandma and grandpa. They are not really family. This is the best place for me. I will go to college. I want to attend xxxx University to study anatomy and be a doctor. I violated probation this summer—curfew violation. I was in the detention system. They put me in xxxx Detention Center for two weeks. I don’t trust anybody.

S.U., Age 17 and K.K., Age 8 months

I trust some of the people here…sometimes trust myself. I was in juvie in xxxx when I was 15 and 16. I was there for 60 days at a time, four times. I would get into trouble at school for fighting. I had anger issues. I was 14 and living with my auntie. We didn’t have a good relationship. My mom would neglect me she and her boyfriend would go out clubbing and not come home. My stepfather is an alcoholic. They would just leave us. Me, my brother, and three sisters. Last year I had a positive behavior year. It was going better. I went home to my mom and they hadn’t seen me in a minute. That was the first time I seen her in a long time. Now I am working with the xxxx Job Corp. I’ve been doing it for four months. I know that type of work. My aunt threw me out of her house when she found out I was pregnant. We got into a fight. It was verbal, but we ended up having to go to court. I have a juvenile record with the court. I wanted to stay in my sister’s house, but they wouldn’t let me stay. I’ve been here two years now. I’m the oldest here. I can be here until I am 21. I can sign myself in when I am 21 for six months. I know how to be independent. I definitely don’t have a boyfriend. I have a girlfriend. There are a lot of girls sleeping with girls in xxxx.

S.S., Age 20 and C.R., Age 3

A non-profit family service. Women and their children only.

A non-profit family service. Women and their children only.

Time Out Room where kids can voluntarily go and feel contained or it is used upon escort during a crisis to limit an audience and to process with staff or PT.

“We follow the guidelines established by Community Care Licensing and our Program Statement. A nurse is there every time monitoring and determining the need to continue or discontinue. The goal always is to express expectations with the child and if they comply, the seclusion/restraint ends. We then do an incident debriefing with child and staff to see what can be learned and or improved upon.” - Clinical Director

“This is the last adolescent psychiatric PHF unit in XXXX.—the last 16 beds. These rooms are used for severely damaged kids in extreme need. These are the kids that are trying to hurt themselves, hurt others or who are gravely disabled. There is nowhere else for them to go. Any therapeutic foster care homes for them are simply not enough. If they are not under supervision, they will hurt themselves or worse.”- Clinical Director

Capacity: 10, only girls, ages 13-18, run with DHS.

Level D (one level away from lockdown). Most girls come from failed foster care placements.

Capacity: 10, only girls, ages 13-18, run with DHS.

Level D (one level away from lockdown). Most girls come from failed foster care placements.

D.K., age 10, and H., age 9, play with action figures.

I have been here for about a month and a half. I was in xxx Juvenile Hall for four years on and off since I was 10. I was first in the system when I was three days old. My Mom didn’t want me. I don’t trust nobody. I’m my own boss. I tell myself what to do, where to do it, and when to do it. I’m going to try and stay here until I’m 18. I’m still dual custody, 241.1. I was born in Chicago and then moved to California with my foster mom. My foster mom doesn’t visit. This place isn’t better than xxxx Juvenile Hall. I want my staff back. I love Ms. xxxx. I call them sometimes. I got irritated so I’m in closed placement. I don’t have any brothers or sisters. I’m in 10th grade. A perfect home for me would be where there is a mom that is loving and caring…That’s the staff at xxx Juvenile Hall. A perfect dad, I don’t know. I don’t got one. A perfect house? It would be well furnished. Ten bedrooms. For me, myself and I. I’d switch bedrooms everyday. A perfect meal? Chinese food. And cookies, the perfect cookie. The one you baked for us. I cooked some fried chicken in our unit. I made some cakes also. No one visited me on Mothers’ Day or ever. I don’t get visitors. I’m in closed placement. I want to go outside so much I’m going to cry. I was supposed to be in open placement. The judge said I had to get written permission from my therapist. She said is was OK but forgot to put written permission in my file and now the therapist moved. I should be in open placement. I want to cry.

-C.G., age 15

Level 12 facility. Kids from DCFS and some in detention too (crossover youth)

I am with DCFS—Social Services. I‘ve been here for 14 months and three weeks. The first time I was 16 and at a group home for a few months. I was in placement when I was a little kid. At ten years old I was in a foster home, at a friend’s house. Then I went back home with my Dad. After that I had to go back to DCFS. My Mom died when I was six-years-old. My dad went to jail. My grandma lives in Miami. I lived with a woman and her son for a year. She was a foster Mom. Then I went back with my dad when he got out of jail. No, not prison—jail. When I’m done here in another year from now, I’m going to go back with my dad. He works somewhere; I don’t know where. I don’t have brothers or sisters. My Dad comes like once a month. I don’t know where he lives. I get a pass to visit on Friday or Saturday. He’s always been there for me. I’m in 9th grade and do good in school. No favorite subject. I have a lot of Dodger hats. We can go to lots of dodger games. A perfect place would be some apartment for me and my Dad. He doesn’t have an apartment so when I visit him we sit in his car or go to the mall. Last time I saw him he took me to Johnny Rockets.

-B.Q., age 17

Level 14 locked. CTF (Community Treatment Facility) and PHF (Psychiatric Health Facility) 56 kids between both facilities.

I’ve been here three or four months. Before this, I was at xxxx Home Care in xxx. It’s a shelter. My social worker visits me. I think my mom visited me four or five years ago. I’m not sure. When I was born I was taken away and put in the system. My mom couldn’t take care of us. She was 22 when I was born. She got us back when I was six. She would steal and tell me to steal also. I got caught on camera and banned from Rite-Aid. My mom was arguing with my little brother and she took off her high heel and hit him in the back of the head with the sharp heel and it went into his brain. She was abusive to me as well. She would beat me up. She was abused when she was little so that’s what she knew. We were poor, really poor. We were sleeping in the streets when we were little. Finally a neighbor took pity on us and let us sleep in an old trailer that he had in the back of his house. It had no wheels and wasn’t going anywhere. It also had rats, spiders and cockroaches. I hated them the worst. We had nothing to eat. It was my mom, two brothers, my little sister, and I. I think she was pregnant. One day she said “Sweetie, in two weeks you are going to leave.” I didn’t understand what that meant. I didn’t know what to believe. That day we went to a gym and all showered and as we were going down the stairs some DCFS people we going up and we met on a landing and they took us. I think the neighbors snitched on us. I went to a foster home for four months. The older daughter there abused me in the foster home. She was 17 or 18. She would be jealous and hit me. She choked me and punched my little sister in the stomach. I was six or seven. The mother of the foster mom said we needed more help and her daughter couldn’t do it anymore. My sister and me were scared of the biological daughter and of the mother. We were too scared to tell anybody. The second foster home we went to was the best. We were about to be adopted but my mother stopped them from doing it. They moved us to Florida to live with my aunt. I was there for about a year, being abused as well. My brother called the police on my aunt and a social worker came from California and took us to a shelter in Florida. We were there for about two weeks and then we flew from Florida to California to another foster home. I was eight or nine. The dad abused me in the foster home. He sexually abused my sister and me. He would make us take showers with him and touched us inappropriately. I told the social worker and then I started on a series of about 30-40 foster homes. I was always AWOLing. I couldn’t take it any more. I was sent to xxxx in xxxx, California. It was in the desert. I was there for about a year. They took me away from my stepdad and mom because they were being sexually active in front of me. I felt I should have told people I was being sexually abused so it is my fault. What I have been through . . . I think I have to punish myself. I should have ran out that door and asked for help. I’m half-Armenian, half-Honduran, and half-Salvadorian. When I was AWOLing I was always very sexually active. I am sure it had something to do with all the sexual abuse earlier. I started cutting and scratching because a lot of the other kids did it. It started as a coping skill but it got pretty addictive.

Z.V., Age 14

Level 14 locked. CTF (Community Treatment Facility) and PHF (Psychiatric Health Facility) 56 kids between both facilities.

I’ve been here three years. I was on CTF but I came back here Monday. I grew up in xxxx. My sisters visit. I think I have a lot but I only know two. One is 23 the other 27. My mom doesn’t visit—she’s on crack and heroin. My dad is a sex offender and there is an order that he can’t see me. It was between about six and twelve when he abused me. I told a social worker and they took me to a foster home when I was seven. My stepmom was married to my dad. She had a daughter who is my half-sister. I lived with her from when I was seven to ten—then they got rid of me. I started using drugs when I was ten. I got them from friends. I didn’t go to school. I never went to school. (Director says they can’t be forced to attend if they don’t want to go). I ended up in another foster home for two weeks and there I drank bleach. They sent me to xxxxk Mental Health Hospital. I was there for two weeks. I was always trying to kill myself in there. Then I went to a group home with six kids, xxxx. I was there two weeks. AWOL. I was doing weed, mollies, triple C (Cold Cough and Congestion pills)—they get you high. When you AWOL you have to learn to read so you learn to read signs just to get around. I’ve been in two foster homes and four group homes. They I came here when I was 14. The food here is pretty nasty. I started cutting when I was six—when I was taken from my family. Most of my family doesn’t like me. I don’t have enough HS credits to even think of graduating. When I move to CTF metal is more available to cut. It’s not easy to find here.

E.L., Age 16

I’ve been here with DCFS for six months. This is my first placement. My Mom is from Guatemala, Dad is from El Salvador. Both have papers. I have six brothers and one sister. I was depressed and running away. They caught me. I was going to my Grandma’s house in xxxx Park. I was anxious and irritated. I graduated high school and will be going to xxxx. I want to learn music and play the drums and be a producer or a DJ or something. I never really ran away; they would always catch me in the act of packing or the dog would bark in the middle of the night. Now I’m doing much better. I can go home on overnight home passes—once a week or on weekends. My family is happy to see me. My mom works babysitting a 2-year-old. My Dad makes aluminum frames in xxxx. I’m the middle child. I’m wearing a tee-shirt that has the pillars of our SCF program: responsibility, fairness, citizenship. I tried to kill myself with a knife. We get therapy like three times a week. A perfect house? Everyone is getting along, working together to keep the house clean. Nice meals, Family night. We would go out to places and enjoy ourselves. Supporting one another. Now I live with my Mom, Dad, six brothers, one sister two German shepherds and two miniature poodles. My brother and sister work also to help the family. They are still single.

G.N., age 17

Level 14 locked. CTF (Community Treatment Facility) and PHF (Psychiatric Health Facility) 56 kids between both facilities.

I’m from xxxx. I’ve been here three weeks. I came from xxxx Hospital for Behavioral Health in xxxx. I was in and out there about three times. Nobody visits me here. Nobody visited me there. Nobody. OK, my social worker did. My mom lives in xxxx, my dad in xxxx. He lives with his girlfriend, two siblings, an aunt, and a brother. I’ve been here since “the incident.” I was watching COPS and started hyperventilating. I couldn’t breathe and I ran to the kitchen and picked up a knife. My brother called my dad. He grabbed me by the shirt and threw me on the ground. I cut myself on the knife, accidentally. He told my brother to call 911 and he whispered in my ear “I don’t want to deal with your selfish shit anymore. I don’t love you. I hate you. Get out of my house. You’re never going to see you mother, your brother or me again. I hope you go to juvie.” The police handcuffed me. I had been smoking weed and wasn’t taking my meds that day. My dad lied and said I swung a knife at him. They sent me to EPS. I was restrained and strapped to a bed in the middle of a room. They strapped down my arms and legs. They sent me to xxxx’s for 30 days, the 21 days the second time then the full 33. Then they sent me to a group home xxxx for four weeks in xxxx. I started cutting with a broken plastic fork. They called EMQ, Emergency Quick Response team. At night, I would cut with a pencil. I did things like walk out of the group home, with a counselor following me…so I wasn’t trying to run away. I just wanted to cool off. She was calling the police on her cell so I slapped it away so they said I was assaultive. The cops descended—about four of them, all men. They flipped me over and handcuffed me. I was at a group home in xxxx, then another group home called xxxx’s house in xxxx, for two weeks. I was being unsafe, punching the wall and hitting my head against the wall. I kept running from xxxx’s, it was not a locked facility so they have me here now. They give me Seroquel, Propanol, Depakote. When I was first hospitalized I was in middle school. I would AWOL from there a lot.

M.C.T., Age 13

Level 12 facility. Kids from DCFS and some in detention too (crossover youth)—Detention and Dependency.

Level 14 locked. CTF (Community Treatment Facility) and PHF (Psychiatric Health Facility) 56 kids between both facilities.

Holding tension reliever because she is nervous.

The first time I came to xxxx, my best friend and I were living with my mom. My mom is a drug abuser. She is on meth mostly. She used to live with my grandma, but she would go in and out to stay with friends or boyfriends. There was a mouse in the house and my mom was shaken by it. She didn’t have rent and exploded at my friend and I, threatening us and raising her hand. I escaped the hit. Then I called the youth group leader who then picked us up and took us to the police station. The police called my mom. My mom was screaming. It sounded like she was on speakerphone. She was going so crazy. Police said it was unsafe to bring us back to her, so they took me to xxxx. Xxxx was full that night, so I ended up going to my grandma’s house. My grandma took care of my brother and I. She used to talk smack behind our backs and say things like, “I shouldn’t have to take care of them.” She would make us go to bed by 8pm up until high school. She never checked our homework or did anything like that. There was a lot of fighting between her and my mom about my mom’s drug use. She shows anger towards us. I have no idea if my grandma ever had official custody of us. I use to cut myself when I was 11 until I was 21. I also use to take prescription drugs, painkiller, cocaine, and drink a lot. When I was 21, I was sent to a psychiatric hospital. I was sent there ten times over two years. I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and depression. I first blamed my family for my mental health issues. Now it’s just a part of my life that I deal with day by day. I used to blame my mother, but now I realize she did the best she could with what she had. She’ll never be sober. She’s made that clear to me.

I aged out of help from xxxx. I first visited xxxx when I was 18-19. I was living on the streets and found xxxx through outreach staff with the backpacks. I was able to get services at xxxx, like laundry, getting to school, counseling, computer access, clothes, sleeping bags, etc. Now, I go to xxCC and am studying criminal justice, psychology, and now nursing. This is my second time at CC. I first went when I was 18. I was living on the street. I had a job and went to class, but I was also worrying about the extra things that come with living on the streets. You know, like people taking your stuff. When I was living on the streets, we were like family. We have each other’s backs. We share food, money, and stuff like that. They are more of a family than my real family. I had two other friends living on the streets that would take turns watching our stuff while the others were at class or work. I was getting F’s and referrals. Teachers never knew about my problems. I did get help from the EOPS (Extended Opportunity Program Services) at CC. Now I have a 4.0. Sometimes you gotta hit rock bottom before you can come back up.

O.S., Age 23

I live in xxxx. I live with grandmother, sister, auntie, cousin, brother. My mom passed away when I was five. My Dad is in jail. He sends me a lot of letters, cards. He’s a really good artist. I’m not sure where he is. I’m going into the 10th grade. I’ve been here a year and a month. I’m here through DCFS. I was showing too much aggressive behavior and I was going to the hospital too much. Sometimes they called the PET team (Psychological Evaluation Team) if I didn’t get my way. They would come every day. I had wrap around services, TBS—Therapeutic Behavioral Services—one on one. There were two therapists, a man and a woman. They would switch off. I trusted the guy, but not the girl. She wouldn’t give me the space when I needed it. I have a boyfriend, xxxx, in the Earth unit. I think he’s cute. Sometimes staff knows about it; sometimes it’s secret. Now I start going home on weekends. Before it used to only be on Sundays. I can’t have a phone because I used to make too many prank calls. At home I share a room with my sister. My Grandma adopted me at age two with my brothers and sisters. If I could have a perfect home? It would be for me and my future husband. The kids would be a boy and a girl. We would have a dog named “Skittles”—A little beagle. The house would be in xxxx around a lot of houses—Not off in the country.

C.B., Age 14

I’ve been here 11 months. I was 13 for my first placement at xxxx in xxxx. That lasted a year and a half. Then DCFS put me in a psych hospital. Mom said she didn’t want to keep me at home because of my cutting. She felt it was unsafe. I had anger problems since I was 10. I live with my Mom and her boyfriend. My Mom is 42 now. My Dad left when I was one. There wasn’t any abuse in my family. I like to read; I read anything. I have 34 or 35 books here. I read one about cyber stalking and harassing. I lived with my aunt in Canada when I was 11-12 for three months. I was getting therapy and medication, but it wasn’t helping. I moved from Ohio, but I was born and grew up in Las Vegas. I used to run away with my friends when I lived in Ohio. From 10-13. I left Ohio when I was 13. My Mom moved back to Vegas. None of my family lives out here. I have DCFS court tomorrow. I’m thinking about going to placement in Las Vegas so I can be closer to my mom. Last time I saw her was six months ago in December, but we Skype every Saturday. I talk to therapists here once a week. She’s OK. Sometimes she’s too busy to see us during the week. I’m a freshman, 9th grade. I don’t do that well in school. This is my third year in 9th grade. Sometimes I just refuse to do the work and just sit there. School frustrates me. The kids are always so loud. I need independent study. I can’t read for the whole two hours or write for the whole two hours. I write poetry sometimes when it comes to me. I was first at xxxx, then yyyy for 2 days, then zzzz for three months. I had some issues of drug addiction when I was in Ohio. I was smoking cigarettes, doing weed, meth. I have been sober from crystal meth for over a year. I stopped since I was 14. I began at 11 when a friend gave me some and I got hooked on it. I was on meth for three years. I never exchanged sex for drugs. Except last month I ran away from here when we were on a hike. They were making us work too hard and I was in back and I didn’t want to keep up so I just ran. I met this guy and he took me to a hotel and got me more high and drunk. Now I have a detective on this guy and the police are looking for him. He raped me. Kids occasionally run away from here, from the track or they pull the fire alarm. If I had a perfect home? It would be with my Mom, with no violence, no cussing or hitting my Mom anymore. I would have my dad back from prison (he’s in for murder.) I write to him. I have lots of letters from him.

-D.K., age 16

I’m from Kansas City and Nebraska. I live with my mom and my stepdad. My mom works at a restaurant, my stepdad’s a taxi driver. There’s my three brothers and my little sister. There are two other brothers but they live with my stepdad. And then have another little brother and a little sister. My mom was stealing, so she has to do some stuff until she gets us back. I was suspended for having marijuana. I’ve been here two months. It was my friend that had some seeds. They were really tiny and they suspended me.

D.D. Age 13

I just came back from half a day of school. I was abused physically and sexually when I was way little. I’ve been in custody for three years. Every time I was in a foster home I would get angry because it’s not normal and I’m not with my parents. My dad abandoned me when I was 7, my mom had just gotten out of prison and came looking for us. I was in a foster home and she tried to get us out. My dad’s in prison for drugs and having a sawed off shotgun. My mom’s in prison for arson, but it really wasn’t her fault. I was 7 when I went into a foster home and DHS was kind of involved. Then DHS got out of our lives and I was in my dad’s care when he came back. A lot of nights my dad would party and let me drink hard liquor and smoke weed and cigarettes. DHS tried to help me choose which parent I would live with, but then my dad didn’t show up to court so they had me live with my mom. But my mom was being abused by her stepdad and she began abusing me. My mom hit me but it wasn’t that bad. I been in and out of foster care, in and out of facilities, and my mom was trying to keep me and not telling DHS that she had a boyfriend. But they came and did an unannounced visit and that's when I came here again. Now I’ve been here about seven months. I used to act out a lot in school and cuss out teachers. Now I’m doing better, I go from 7:45-10:45. It’s three hours—half days.

Q.R., Age 13

I’ve been here a month. I’ve been to two foster homes. My mom’s in Houston. I don’t know where. They said we got abused. It’s mostly because my sister lied. She got a whooping from our stepdad, but they said it was from my other sister. They came to school and they took my sister and me to a back room to see our bruises. We had plenty of bruises. It was me, my brother, and four sisters. My brother and four sisters are all in a foster home. The foster home’s really boring—I was in it two times. Now its just me and my brother and one sister are still here. I didn’t go to school today because they didn’t wake me up. My stepdad didn’t have to go to prison, but he moved to Texas and he’s doing things like paying fines and court fees. I don’t know where my mom is but I think she works somewhere.

E.B., Age 13

I’ve been here 2 months. I live with my auntie. I’m in 7th grade. My mom’s in jail for murder. I never knew my dad. My auntie has visited me here. I got in trouble in school. The people were bullying me because I live in a shelter. They call me a shelter kid and they bully me. Where’s this gonna be? In a magazine? Is this gonna be a movie?

E.B. Age 13

I’ve been here 5 days. It’s me and my two sisters—actually there are 3. One’s over on the elementary side (different wing of the shelter). The teenagers are twins. But everybody’s here in the shelter. The cops came on Friday. The first time I came in I was really little. I live with my grandma and mom and my brother’s girlfriend and her mom and his brother. I had an aunt but she died last month. I’m in 10th grade. I’m trying to get back in school. We were planning on moving to California, Sacramento, but it didn’t really happen. The rest of our family lives out there. We moved to Arizona one time but then we moved back.

K.R., Age 17

I’ve been here on and off for a year. In and out. I really don’t have a home. My grandma takes me on pass sometimes, but this is kinda my home right now. I don’t know where my mom is. My dad’s somewhere in xxxx. He just got out of jail. He’s trying to get me back. He had never been in jail before, but then all of a sudden it all caught up with him and they got him for a bunch of drugs and assault. I was living with my grandparents in xxxx until I was about 5. Then I was too much trouble so they sent me to live with my mom. Then she gave me up, and then from 6 on I was living with my other grandparents until last year. Then my grandparents adopted me but then they revoked the adoption because they thought I was too much trouble. They go to church meetings everyday. They’re ordained ministers. I’m bisexual, but if they knew they would disown me. I don’t think they worship a god, they worship the church itself. It’s this big evangelical church run by xxxx over by Oral Roberts University. Everything they say is “xxxx would say this” or “xxxx would do this.” School is a little difficult—the social aspect of it. I really need an alternative school. A lot of kids picked on me. The foods Ok here, but it’s pretty greasy and the vegetables are all overcooked. You could take the meat they give you and squeeze it and the grease would fill up a cup. I’m hungry most of the day here.

D.R., Age 15

I don’t know why I’m here. I didn't like foster care. I’m in first grade.

N.N., Age 7

I been here almost a year. I’m from xxxx. I come from a really bad family. My father was in prison 3 or 4 times. This last time for kidnapping a 19 year old girl and sex trafficking her. I was abused when I was 5 and it continued with my mom’s boyfriends and my uncle. My mom said she didn’t believe me but she was not only aware of it, she allowed it. My mother’s been in prison for a year for sex trafficking. At 12 I was with a guy who was 20. But then my mother turned him in. I loved him, It was a consensual affair. But he was put in prison. My mom would send druggies to my room to pay for her meth. She said I wasn’t prostituting, but a lot of times my door would be open when these men would be with me, and she would be in the other room but watching me through the door. And then I would run away and I would be prostituting to get money for food and for my brother. I became pregnant but I lost the babies 3 times. And then I also nursed my younger sisters. I had a lot of drug exposure. They gave me meth and other stuff at 12 and younger. I would be snorting and smoking. I quit cold turkey—I didn’t want to be like them. I didn’t want to be like none of my family. I want to go to college and support myself. My brother’s in a shelter in xxxx, the girls are in foster home in xxxx. There’s no talking to my parents or grandparents. I’ve had a few sane dating experiences. I think that I’ll eventually end up with a woman. I find it hard to trust men these days. They’ll let me stay here until I graduate. I’ve been in DHS custody now for over a year. I did prostitute but I don’t have any criminal record. From here I have a few friends that may take me in, or else I may go to a shelter. I may stay with one girlfriend, she’s a freshman and she’s expecting. The boy is a junior. I’m their godmother. I’m really against abortion. I lost three babies. My oldest little sister rammed me in the side with a screwdriver. My baby was 8 months and he was delivered stillborn. I lost the others at 6 months and 5 months. I had to bury them in the backyard because nobody knew about it. I never got medical attention. They all attributed my weight gain to depression. I want to have a lot of kids. I want to have 2 of them naturally and then adopt a lot.

G.B., Age 17

Been here 5 ½ months. My mom and my aunt got in a big argument. My aunt thought I was being abused by my mom. I was playing with dogs, big dogs, and I got a bunch of scratches and bruises. That was the first time I was brought into DHS. I was 4. My aunt called 911 and they came and talked to my mom and me and my sister. We were all living in an old person’s house at the time and my mom’s job was helping them. She would let me play with these big dogs out back. When DHS took us, they took my sister as well. We went to the big xxxx shelter. Then I went to my grandma’s house on my sister’s side. My dad was abusive with my mom. I was 6 and my dad called my sister a nigger. She’s half black with a different dad. Then for 2 years I went to live with my grandmother’s sisters for a good minute. I think I was 8 or so. Then I went to a regular foster home. It was a different environment. Im not used to seeing people I don’t know. They were strangers, so I acted out. The woman was older and she had a daughter that was 6 or 7 months. Then they moved me again to a way out foster home on some farmer ranch land. I don't know where it was but I went to Barns MS. I left there because we were getting adopted. And that family was all the way in xxxx. It was far from all my friends and the adoption didn't work out. I had an issue with the husband. I was cussing. The adoption failed. When you do a tryout you spend a night and a few weekends there—but I didn’t like it. Both me and my brother went to xxxx to another foster home and an old woman named Ms. xxxx and we lived with her. And then we moved because of the abusing going on in the house. She threw me on the bed and I can’t remember where we went next—and she pulled my hair. I have a sister, she lives with a friend because she’s 17 years old. It’s her girlfriend. My sister and I had an incident with a boy; he was my first true love and she ended up sleeping with him. I did forgave her. She shouldn’t have done that. She was the dumb one. It wasn’t just her it was him too. I’m starting to do visits. I have to turn 15 in order to go home. The visits are supervised. Like one visit we went to McDonald’s. My mom is bisexual. So is my sister. She doesn’t do drugs but she smokes cigarettes and does alcohol. Miss xxxx is getting on my case here. Kids bully me and call me diaper booty. It means that your booty looks like you have a diaper on. They also called me a snitch. But I’m preparing myself to not be in danger when I get out of here, and I don’t want to be part of the trouble in here. This hope necklace, its just a necklace I bought from a store.

M.M., Age 14

I’ve been here a year and a half. I’ve been with DHS for 10 years. Part of it was my stepdad did some stuff. I told him at my day care what was going on. At first they thought I was lying…then they seen the bruises. My stepdad lives somewhere in Texas. Me and my siblings we got hit and stuff. My mom got her rights taken away from her. But now she’s not using. She was working with some sort of senior care. My mom and my stepdad would be hitting and yelling at each other. Then I got brought into the shelter with my siblings. The police brought me in. I came in in a police car. They came and took me from daycare when my mom was at work. For a few months I was in a foster home in Luther. Then I was threatened by other kids, but they thought I was threatening them. Then I went to my stepdad’s brother’s family for half a year. Then they took me to another shelter, but they didn’t want me because they said I was abusing their little children. I was in a shelter for a month or two, then I went back with my mom when I was 11. We all came back and lived with my stepdad for a while, then my mom had a new boyfriend. I spent about a year with them then the brother’s stepdad’s wife said that he was visiting for a while. The caseworker didn’t like that, so the kids went back into DHS. I went to XXXX, then to XXXX, then a foster home, but I got kicked out for fighting with their adopted daughter. Then I went to XXXX---it's a shelter in town. Then I got kicked out for having a boyfriend. So I haven’t had a boyfriend for a year and a half. I’m doing good, but bad at the same time. I’m doing better than when I started out, but they say I’ve provoked fights, cussed out staff, and then I was caught stealing last month at Walmart. It was me and two other girls. I stole a lighter for my roommate. But I don't do drugs. I’m trying to do something with my own life. My stepdad did coke and weed, my mom drinks something like beer, but its clear. My dad’s Mexican, my mom’s Native American; they broke up. Here you’re allowed to date other girls at school, but you can’t date any other girls in the house. Boys are OK but they can’t be too much older. You have to be 16 to be dating out. And no spending the night unless Miss XXXX (house mother) and the caseworker approves it. I have a counselor; she comes every Thursday. But sometimes she doesn’t come cause she’s sick. We sometimes try group therapy but it doesn’t really work. We’re trying again. A lot of the topics are about drugs and alcohol and addiction and attitude and boys and girls.

K.U., Age 14

I’ve been here a year and a half. I’ve been with DHS for 10 years. Part of it was my stepdad did some stuff. I told them at my day care what was going on. At first they thought I was lying…then they seen the bruises. My stepdad lives somewhere in Texas. Me and my siblings we got hit and stuff. My mom got her rights taken away from her. But now she’s not using. She was working with some sort of senior care. My mom and my stepdad would be hitting and yelling at each other. Then I got brought into the shelter with my siblings. The police brought me in. I come in in a police car. They came and took me from daycare when my mom was at work. For a few months I was in a foster home in Luther. Then I was threatened by other kids, but they thought I was threatening them. Then I went to my stepdad’s brother’s family for half a year. Then they took me to another shelter, but they didn’t want me because they said I was abusing their little children. I was in a shelter for a month or two, then I went back with my mom when I was 11. We all came back and lived with my stepdad for a while, then my mom had a new boyfriend. I spent about a year with them then the brother’s stepdad’s wife said that he was visiting for a while. The caseworker didn’t like that, so the kids went back into DHS. I went to xxxx then to xxxx, then a foster home, but I got kicked out for fighting with their adopted daughter. Then I went to xxxx---it's a shelter in town. Then I got kicked out for having a boyfriend.(Romeo & Juliet laws) So I haven’t had a boyfriend for a year and a half. I’m doing good, but bad at the same time. I’m doing better than when I started out, but they say I’ve proved fights, cussed out staff, and then I was caught stealing last month at Walmart. It was me and two other girls. I stole a lighter for my roommate. But I don't do drugs. I’m trying to do something with my own life. My stepdad did coke and weed, my mom drinks something like beer, but it’s clear. My dad’s Mexican, my mom’s Native American; they broke up. Here you’re allowed to date other girls at school, but you can’t date any other girls in the house. Boys are OK but they can’t be too much older. You have to be 16 to be dating out. And no spending the night unless Miss Mahogany (house mother) and the caseworker approves it. I have a counselor; she comes every Thursday. But sometimes she doesn’t come cause she’s sick. We sometimes try group therapy but it doesn’t really work. We’re trying again. A lot of the topics are about drugs and alcohol and addiction and attitude and boys and girls.

K.U., Age 14

I been her 4 months. I’ll probably be here until I’m 18. I started in the system when I was 6. My mom gave my grandma money to pay bills, but my grandma didn’t pay the bills. So we ended up with no lights, no heat, and when I was 6 my younger sister was 3. So this DHS worker came and took me and my sister to the hospital. I had a bad cold and my sister had pneumonia. We went to my other grandma’s house, the one who had adopted my mom. I don’t know where my dad is, and my mom doesn’t work. I think she had me when she was 18 or so. I talk to her every other week. I stayed at my grandma’s until I was 9 or 10. Then she sent me to foster care because I had anger issues. I was at a foster home for 2 years and the woman had two kids, they were around 12. I had to move from there because she was moving and it was in a different agency. I had to move from the south to the north side and switch schools. I stayed there for five years. My sister’s still living with grandma. I was supposed to move back with my mom, but my mom declined. I went to a shelter for a couple of weeks. It was a shelter for kids called Family Junction in xxxx. Then I came here. There’s a lot of drama here, but I go to school and I work at the Dairy Queen. I’ve worked there for about 4 weeks. I get $7.50 an hour. I give 10% to Miss xxxx to save for me, and the rest I’m saving to get a good phone. At 18, they help me get an apartment on the north side. Then I can go to college. I want to be a vet.

H.A., Age 16

Therapeutic Art Work

S.S., Age 16

Child crashes on couch in the quiet side room.

C.G., Age 16

I like to hang out here to get away from reality. Reality is the stress and drama of being around family and not having a job. I come over here during the day. I sort of live with my Mom, my younger sister and my cousin. Mom is going through a divorce. My Dad died, not sure how. I didn’t do so well in school but I got a diploma. I try doing some things in the culinary arts, anything that involves creativity. In High School I dropped a lot of weight, I went from 372 to 285. I hid in my room a lot when I was a kid. I was abused by my step dad from five until twelve. Eventually I told my Mom. My femininity is a huge issue in my life. It is a struggle. I went through a tom boy phase when I was younger. My Mom questioned my sexuality but I never came out of the closet with her. I just started really building a relationship with her. I am afraid she is homophobic. I told my brother and he freaked out. He’s 25 and we fight about everything. Financially it is a struggle. I can’t sleep here, I just hang out during the day. I sleep in HUD housing. Yeah. These hard times have gotten me down.

T.U., Age 21

3 kids from 2 different families in the play room. The Police brought them in a police car. A Male and female officer. We try to get them into emergency foster care. We try to keep the kids together. There are a pool of foster homes and a poll of emergency foster homes. To be an emergency foster home, you have to be a stay at home parent. The police have 72 hours to determine if it is a safe environment to return the kids to the home. They work to making the home safe for the kids. When they go to a foster home we tell them they are going to “stay with our friends.” In the transition they are in Police Protective custody. We don’t have facilities for physical abuse victims here. If that occurs, the police take them to the ER until they are medically cleared. If there is sexual abuse a social worker is immediately called in. The xxxx children’s home is a 24/7 operation. If they are 12 and under we try and place them in a proper situation within 72 hours, over 12 and they may go to a shelter. We get kids as young as two days old. When they are taken away from their families, their homes—it is the worst day ever for them. We strive to have them remember it as the best day they ever had.